I’m running Archlinux on my Dell XPS 9750 and it’s pretty great. The downside is that the onboard GPU doesn’t have Linux drivers, but the CPU graphics work fine for what I’m doing (mostly web development).
That...isn't what happened. He has his routine. That routine includes some amount of "family time", whatever that means. It is probably one they have discussed before, in ensuring that their mutual needs for companionship/childcare vs alone time are being met. The plan he came up with would cut into that time. Rather than just make that change on his own, he talked to her about it, ensuring that she was also on board with the tradeoff. That's called "a healthy relationship".
Having someone agree with you about something does not mean you asked for, nor required, their permission. It -does- mean you went and spoke to them first so they knew what to expect, that you gave them room to give their opinion on the decision, and that you went into it with the desire to find a mutually beneficial arrangement in the event they disagreed with it rather than just "Wife! I have decided!"
If his wife doesn't work then the 30m of me time becomes even more costly and even more important to clear. Work is often the only reprieve from a very young child. The first year of our child, my favorite thing in the world was to go to work, no matter how shitty the task. The thirty minute commute alone was orgasmic, without the sound of a screaming colicky child unrelenting during day and night alike.
Your wife not working doesn't change that you're the dad when you're off work and would typically (I hope?) be involved in your children's education as well.
Parenting is not the kind of thing where you exchange your labor for money. It's not work in the sense that the parent comment meant it and you know that full well.
> Parenting is not the kind of thing where you exchange your labor for money.
Historically, that really is a big component of parenting. More children meant more money through additional hands being available to work the farm, etc.
What's wild to me is that he had to ask his wife for permission to get more personal time in exchange for getting a much higher paying job. I've been married over 10 years and have two kids, and I don't need permission from anyone to do something that I think is going to improve the life of my loved ones; I just do it. And anyway, 30 min/day x three months seems to be a really small ask considering the dramatic improvement in financial status his wife and family will benefit from. Essentially that extra 30 minutes a day counts as work he's doing to bring home the bacon.
Hell, I’d talk to my wife about any job change, regardless of the implications on our free time together. Do I need her explicit permission? No. Do I value her input? Yes.
My guess is that some of the people crititicizing here are either macho bragging about stuff they don't actually do, have dysfunctional relationships but don't realize it, or much more likely just aren't or haven't been in long term relationships. Some probably misread or are taking a very negative interpretation to what they're reading.
Exactly! It’s wild to me that so many people here seem to think of it as a permission grant, like they’re upset their wife hasn’t added them to sudoers or something. “How dare I not have admin rights to our life” feels like the tone of the majority of comments in this subtree.
The whole thing read like a humble brag... "As a powerlifter, I workout 4-6 days per week", " I would have the third-highest new offer on Levels out of over 200 offers on their site" .. .etc.
The blog said he needed an additional 30 minutes of time each day, not just 30 minutes period. Presumably they already have a system worked out where they each get some personal time during the day and the job quest shifted this balance.
...it's totally healthy. He had developed a routine and set of expectations with his wife, that ensured their mutual needs for time together, and the needs of the kid, were being met. As he looked into how much time he'd need to take to adequately prepare, he first looked to cut down on something important to him without losing progress in it, which gave him most of the time he felt he needed, but still felt short. He then engaged with his wife to discuss his plan, and what he felt would be necessary for it, ensuring she was in agreement that reducing 30 minutes per day of "family time" was an acceptable decision. She was, so that's what they did.
No, it’s weird and I suspect there’s more to the story on how they arrived at this kind of system. It sounds mechanical and low-trust. Granted, I am not as ambitious as the author, but my wife and I do not ask each other for permission to do things. What we do do is let the other know that we’re taking on an extra responsibility, and specific help needed. We both work in tech and are raising two toddlers.
Does it though? "we both agreed it would be perfectly reasonable for me to ask for 30 minutes of additional “me time”"
So..."Hey, I wanna do this thing. It'll mean cutting down on our time together/require more help from you in watching the kid(s), but it has the potential of increasing how much I bring home by (X)" "Huh, yeah, that makes sense. Okay"
Not really. Let's say you're sharing chores. It would make sense to ask if your partner is okay with doing a bit more chores while you prepare for a better paying job.
