I've tried to have that discussion here and ended up at the point where it seems like its the word itself that causes the problem, but after asking "well what if we just changed the word to be something that evokes the lack of barriers" and the usual response is essentially "fuck you I deserve what I have.", which may be 100% true but straight white men (like me) who think that everyone is on a totally level playing field and we have all the same barriers in life as everyone else I think is nuts. No two people are the same and nobody knows what challenges people have faced (that don't depend on race or gender) but on average it seems pretty clear that being of the majority race and religion and being male avoids a lot of potential problems.
I feel like in any particular situation, what I get out of something is a product of what I put into it. I've never felt at any point in my life like I've not been given the benefit of the doubt and I wish that was the case for everyone.
If you ask me, the "fuck you I deserve what I have" is not correct and misrepresents the values you're trying to caricature. If it has to be anything, it would be more: "fuck you, I deserve what I've earned". And if that happens to be an "oppressed" individual that has passed through many barriers and hardships, then they deserve it even more, because they've earned it.
That's the other thing that's problematic about reverse-isms. They essentially dismiss the effort and good work oppressed people have done to rise above their circumstances, by telling them that they need handicap-scoring because they're part of some magical grouping. The commonality is rising above circumstance, and that is something that spans across all the "isms" and groups that are currently hot-topics.
I feel like in any particular situation, what I get out of something is a product of what I put into it. I've never felt at any point in my life like I've not been given the benefit of the doubt and I wish that was the case for everyone.