I recall Robert Sapolsky saying that anhedonia is a "retreat into the rational mind".
That doesn't sound so bad until you've experienced it. It's a deficit of life at the most fundamental perceptual level.
I prefer sorrowful depressive states, because at least you're alive even if the pain is crippling. Anhedonia? The thing crippling you is mercurial, illusory. It's an absence, not a presence.
I don't prefer depressive states but I feel like a lot of anhedonic states border on disassociation for me and I'm praised for it. I'm in a state right now like the article author in that I'm doing all these good habits. I find it annoying when people comment on it and it often comes off as patronizing. I'm not doing it for attention or praise (and that doesn't really affect me), again, I'm doing it because I have to keep treading water. It leads to this terrible dynamic where I don't like reaching out to someone when I'm doing poorly but I also don't like reaching out to someone when I'm doing "well" - which means that I'm doing all the actions that one is to be praised for in "treating" depression but not feeling any relief whatsoever. It's painful to have people praise me or say I'm "strong" for what is a purely a survival mechanism, it's this or ending up physically abused in the psych ward.
I've dealt with anhedonia most of my life. I would not say that I prefer sorrowful states; pain is crippling across the board, and you cannot live in such a state chronically in the same way as you can in an anhedonic one.
But I fully agree with you about it being a deficit, an absence. Large portions of the human experience are simply cut off from you, and it isn't something I would wish on anyone.
I've made peace with it but human language is very odd. I still use terms such as "like/love" "miss you" "looking forward to" but I'm cut off from the emotions behind it. Most people I know well know this and I've explained it to them but it does trip me up at times because it feels dishonest.
I think that happens to everyone. I think most times people say they're "looking forward to seeing you" do it out of politeness, not an overwhelming feeling of anticipation.
I had a somatic variant.. for some reason I couldn't operate my left fingers[0]. I'd type and all of a sudden signals would jam and nothing would move. I had moments in life where my hand got bruised, or frozen and I couldn't 'use' it but I could still feel it. Something in my brain was still there. But the last time it felt like my brain could not find the fingers, it left a void which felt like a silent death. I wonder if people suffering hemi/quadriplegia or any form of handicap have that sensation.. I hope not it's difficult to bear.
[0] (maybe grief causing blood flow problems and brain ischemia.. I don't know)
Thanks for asking. Things were too transient for me to seek neurologists. It could be very disturbed for two weeks and slightly come back a few days... Most GP thought I was exaggerating so I gave up.
Right now, it's somehow back. I don't operate keyboard at the same speed as I used to but I have normal finger sensations (I can sequence fine and subtle finger patterns without brain freeze, which is what made me feel so bad before). I assume it's mostly due to bike commute strengthening my cardiovascular system and brain blood flow (or maybe it's something different.. I have no scientific data)
I wish I had the input of a neurologist though.. I do have to see one next month but for something totally unrelated (dysmorphic hallucinations) I may ask her/him just in case if there's enough time.
That doesn't sound so bad until you've experienced it. It's a deficit of life at the most fundamental perceptual level.
I prefer sorrowful depressive states, because at least you're alive even if the pain is crippling. Anhedonia? The thing crippling you is mercurial, illusory. It's an absence, not a presence.