Will this break 500 comments? A thousand? Good luck, mate.
Yeah, one definitely both wants to grow up and not lose the smiles in the photos of when we were young. I feel you.
What you've described sounds like a spiritual crisis, but I couldn't counsel you through that without knowing you better. I will say this, your world has changed, and that is loss, and loss has to be mourned before you move on to the new season. So give yourself some grace if you're upset with yourself for being upset—no, being upset is natural, it's grief and you can't control it into oblivion.
Chasing a different profession with the idea that that somehow going to make things better is very risky. Could work out, but a lot of girls dump the old abusive boyfriend and find a new abusive boyfriend... You want to make sure you understand why you were attracted to the problem case before you go find another problem case, yes? If you feel like you have adequately done that soul searching, then yeah, follow your gut. But the gut definitely has a bias to retreading the same mistakes again and again, you have to compensate for that bias.
The biggest thing that I will say is, you can't be living as if you'll get everything in order today and start your actual life tomorrow. If you do that you will never recover those looks from the photos from when we were young. This is it: that is your first axiom. It may be weird for a religious person to be telling you that, hah... but even we have the problem, as Hillel’s poem goes, ‘... don't say “I’ll study when I am free” / for maybe you will never be!’
Good luck recovering that brightness of youth. If you are looking for interests, might I suggest binging some podcasts or Teaching Company courses or audiobooks or so, find something that catches your interest there and build up from that initial connection?
Yeah, one definitely both wants to grow up and not lose the smiles in the photos of when we were young. I feel you.
What you've described sounds like a spiritual crisis, but I couldn't counsel you through that without knowing you better. I will say this, your world has changed, and that is loss, and loss has to be mourned before you move on to the new season. So give yourself some grace if you're upset with yourself for being upset—no, being upset is natural, it's grief and you can't control it into oblivion.
Chasing a different profession with the idea that that somehow going to make things better is very risky. Could work out, but a lot of girls dump the old abusive boyfriend and find a new abusive boyfriend... You want to make sure you understand why you were attracted to the problem case before you go find another problem case, yes? If you feel like you have adequately done that soul searching, then yeah, follow your gut. But the gut definitely has a bias to retreading the same mistakes again and again, you have to compensate for that bias.
The biggest thing that I will say is, you can't be living as if you'll get everything in order today and start your actual life tomorrow. If you do that you will never recover those looks from the photos from when we were young. This is it: that is your first axiom. It may be weird for a religious person to be telling you that, hah... but even we have the problem, as Hillel’s poem goes, ‘... don't say “I’ll study when I am free” / for maybe you will never be!’
Good luck recovering that brightness of youth. If you are looking for interests, might I suggest binging some podcasts or Teaching Company courses or audiobooks or so, find something that catches your interest there and build up from that initial connection?