I once had an argument with one of these people (Not being a grad student, I was not allowed to take a class that taught cluster computing, on a cluster that I had built and had written about half the linux distro for).
So I gave the guy a hug.
A professor had to come over and persuade me to put the admin guy back on the ground again a few minutes later.
I took that class and got a B+.
Lesson learned: Punch less, hug more, remind useless people that their proper place in life is as high up as they want, as long as it's out of my way.
Thereby justifying the existence of yet another "useless" administrative position, that of Title IX coordinator who reviews the incident as possible sexual harassment.
A lot of staff growth in all organizations is related to changing expectations (and sometimes legal requirements) related to human resources and management; you don't need nearly as many managers if don't care about things like treating everyone fairly or their professional development.
At the time, I felt that a bear hug was the best way to avoid an actual fight, and it worked. If you want to co-write a post on de-escalation techniques, I'd genuinely love to! What would you have done in that situation to defuse it?
So, you wouldn't have gotten what you wanted, and the other person would've gotten the wrong lesson from this episode. Got it. Given your tactics, I don't think I want to collaborate with you either. Maybe a discussion/debate?
The episode I related above was from either 2005 or 2006, I forget.
The last time I was in a fight, was in August of 2013, someone in a very altered mental state came at me with a knife. I believe at that point a therapeutic hold (bear hug and lift) is more than justified :)
I'm a big guy and that gives me some power. Power comes with responsibility, like "don't call the cops and potentially get some crazy person killed when you can handle it yourself and then call an ambulance".
Thanks for the advice! I have, generally, followed it.
So I gave the guy a hug.
A professor had to come over and persuade me to put the admin guy back on the ground again a few minutes later.
I took that class and got a B+.
Lesson learned: Punch less, hug more, remind useless people that their proper place in life is as high up as they want, as long as it's out of my way.