You speak with the world view of a neurotypical human. I'm happy for you.
For the perspective of the broken toys in the box, let me explain. :)
When an NT is asked to do a boring, repetitive task, he'll do it for eight hours and then get drunk afterwards to recover. Good job.
When an ADHD-afflicted individual is asked to do a boring, repetitive task, he'll do it for about five minutes and then spend eight hours trying to find a way to not do it again. Or stare at the wall. Or berate himself for not working. Or rack up a disabling level of anxiety because he's not working.
You present this as something everyone does, and you're right to. The disorder comes in when someone cannot do it. Not that the person will not muster some internal whatever to push on, but that the person's brain is physically incapable of doing it. The same kind of incapable as a major depressive being incapable of talking himself out of an anxiety-induced depression.
When it's a disorder, it's a disorder. The problem is that so many people see the high numbers of people being diagnosed and write it off as a fad. It's not. Maybe the numbers are high and some are being misdiagnosed, or maybe we're learning about all the edge cases. I don't know. I do know it exists and it's an impairment and it goes well beyond basic motivation.
I've had "do it or you're fired" moments where THAT wasn't enough to motivate me, and I had a very real fear of being unemployed.
First of all, thank you for this in-depth response. It beats the hell out of anonymous and explanation-less downvotes.
I had never come across the word neurotypical before your comment and now, after reading the corresponding wikipedia page, I am aware that it does characterize me (i.e. "anyone who does not have autism, dyslexia, developmental coordination disorder, bipolar disorder, ADD/ADHD, or other similar conditions").
For the majority of elementary, middle, and secondary school, I fit your anecdote pretty well, minus the getting drunk part (I was young, sheltered, and without access to or interest in alcohol).
However, after sophomore year or so, I realized how much time I had wasted pushing through boring, repetitive tasks, and I grew incapable of completing assignments. This turning point left me in the position of ADHD-afflicted individuals for the final two years of high school. Call it burnout, early senioritous, or whatever - the symptoms were the same. With fear of college app rejections as my motivation (like your fear of unemployment), I couldn't bring myself to do mandatory, largely weighted assignments. They were just too boring, meaningless. Somehow I remained motivated up until then. I really don't know how, to be honest.
Out of curiosity, how would you say my realization [and subsequent drop-off in academic performance] relate to ADHD and NT?
On another note, are A
DHD-afflicted individuals literally incapable of mustering the "internal whatever" you speak of? Is the ability to conjure motivation entirely absent? It's really hard to compare similarly subjective abilities, like pain thresholds and the like.
Even if this incapability is just that: a true incapability, I'm not certain that portrayal of ADHD as an affliction is a net-benefit. It seems better for people to believe in their own capabilities, even when many are literally incapable, as you say. Similarly, the belief in free will is good for people and society - even if free will is obviously nonexistent. Determinism yields higher rates of depression and discourages self-responsibility.
Watts doesn't deny the differences between those affected by ADHD and those who are not. He argues that these differences are best understood as personality traits and not products of an affliction.
This isn't a matter of ignorance, but interpretation of and reaction to scientific discoveries.
There is no success because of ADHD. There is success despite having ADHD.
It's not a personality trait that I cannot physically do something I want to do and need to do without medication and, frankly, I'm sick of people who don't experience it offering new theories on it as if they have some grand insight into it.
Get a head injury that breaks your executive functions. Join us. Then try to offer it up as a personality trait.
Love a lot of your posts here you're very vocal and well explain. I'm an ADHDer, software developer, avid researcher, fascinated with neuroscience and cognitive science and studied modules of it in university. But I sense you've been reading a lot from Barkley? And Barkley unfortunately can be closed minded(his brother had ADHD and died in a car crash so it's understandable he's negative towards it).
We've seen in neuroscience that certain characteristics in ADHD, i.e lack of inhibition can lead to positives. The brain compensates.
Honestly, I feel in the next decade ADHD will be looked upon as a subset of personality/neurological traits, more in line with how as Aspergers is been seen nowadays.
Nailed it. But do yourself a favor and don't self-label. Go talk to a professional for a while and see what their take is. By which I mean an LCW or psychologist, not a GP. :)
Something to think about: it's possible you have more than one named disorder (though they could be related in chemistry). When I first started ADHD meds I had a similar reaction as you, though I wound up in actual panic attacks from the anxiety. When I treated the anxiety with an ultra-low dose then everything came out perfect.
I've since stopped the anxiety med and feel I've trained myself a little more on how to handle it. I have my moments but have the skills I need now to recognize those moments and bring myself down. Luckily one can do that with mild anxiety, unlike ADHD...
The biggest non-medicinal benefits are absolutely sleep, nutrition, and exercise -- you're right. Without a good foundation, nothing can be built.
I took a small dose of shrooms few months ago; it made me closer to nature, and it got rid of my porn/fapping addiction. I really think that psychedelics have the potential to "round" people out.
Having worked at an ad agency and startups, if you can find an interesting startup you're going to be in a much easier place when it comes to motivation. It may not solve everything, but it'll make things easier.
I tried consulting. I couldn't self-motivate to self-imposed deadlines. Barely averted disaster. Never again.
Tried a startup. Same problem. Worse result.
Now I startup surf as a developer, but only to interesting projects. If I work on a boring project, I'm going to wind up behind schedule. One I learned that about myself, I adjusted my job searches to fit (as much as possible).
Project management? I suppose if I weren't the one actually doing it that would work. But if you switch early on, you're stuck with it. I'd get a few more years of software on your resume before bailing. That gives you experience with various kinds of scheduling and PMs and a better idea of the PM you'll want to be.
Got hired by one. They didn't have enough people so I added about a dozen acronyms to the resume. After it cratered I picked up a job based on those acronyms. Rinse and repeat.
